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Clerical Temp
}} Haley enlists the aid of a cleric of Loki. From him they learn that Belkar has activated his Greater Mark of Justice, and he agrees to send a message to Durkon. Meanwhile Old Blind Pete is busy selling them out for a new pair of eyes. Cast * Roy Greenhilt (as spirit) ◀ ▶ * Haley Starshine ◀ ▶ * Belkar Bitterleaf (sickened) ◀ ▶ * Celia ◀ ▶ * Crystal ◀ ▶ * Bozzok ◀ ▶ * Hank ◀ ▶ * Cleric of Loki ▶ * Old Blind Pete ◀ ▶ Transcript Celia: I am so BORED! Haley: Here, braid my hair again. That'll kill twenty minutes. Belkar: Uhh...I think my small intestines are trying to declare independence... Celia: I'm starting to think your friend Pete doesn't actually know a cleric. Haley: No, Pete knows just about everyone, but these things take time. The entire church is in the Guild's pocket, he has to keep things on the Q.T. Roy: Hello, girls. Since I know you can't see or hear me, I'm here to glare at you sternly in hopes of triggering subliminal feelings of guilt in you. Pete: Knock, knock, ladies! I hope everyone in there is decent! Celia: No, Pete, we're both completely nude. But come on in. Pete: ... Pete: Now that's just mean to an old blind man. Haley: Sorry 'bout that. But for over a week now, you've been telling us that your friend will be here the next day. If you can't get hold of him, we really need to know. Pete: I just needed to get a few details worked out, is all. And now they have been. Pete: This is the cleric friend I've been telling you about. Haley: Oh, man, are we glad to meet you! My name is— Cleric: Please, no names! If they break you, I don't want you to be able to identify me. Haley: If it's all the same, I'd like to cut the small talk and get down to brass tacks. I'd rather my superiors not start to wonder where I am... Pete: I'll leave y'all to discuss while I visit the Little Rogue's Room. Cleric: Pete said that you needed a Resurrection spell, but you don't have the body now? Haley: That's about the size of it yeah. Cleric: Resurrection is above my caster level, but I have a scroll with it...if you can get the corpse back. Haley: Which leads into our second problem... Haley: Our party ranger has some sort of weird disease, and we need him to help us storm the castle where the body is being held. Belkar: They're saying "No digestion without representation." Cleric: I'll take a look. Cleric: Say "aaaah". Belkar projectile vomits, Haley Evades it by jumping high. Belkar: AAAAH! Cleric: Whoa! Oh yeah, I've seen this before. Cleric: This isn't a disease, it's a curse. Nasty, but nonfatal. Cleric: Good thing you brought him to me, though. See, this is basically a job for Remove Curse, right? But most clerics wouldn't know the "catch". Cleric: This particular curse requires a specific password to be spoken in order to be dispelled. Now, I've seen a few of these over the years on thieves that have come up from Azure City. It seems the lord down there— Haley: Wait. Haley: Wait, wait, wait, wait. Haley: You're telling me this curse is a result of his Mark of Justice being activated? Cleric: Sure, How could you have missed it? It turns the whole room blue when it goes off. Belkar: Unnnhhh... Cleric: Anyway, I do have that spell prepared today, so— Haley: No. Haley: Leave him the way he is. Haley: If he activated his curse, than he likely killed someone—probably one of the Oracle's helpers. Haley: I'm not wasting money on a cure for a curse he brought upon himself. Haley: If it's nonfatal, he can stew for a while. Let Roy sort it out when he gets back. Celia: Did you hear that, Belkar? You're this sick because you hurt someone. Celia: How does that make you feel? Belkar: That's not fair... Belkar: I didn't even get to enjoy it... Haley: We'll find someone else to help us fight those flesh golems. Belkar: I want a do-over. Celia: I have never been more in agreement. Roy: Well, it lacked the "oomph" of the first time around, but sequels often do. Cleric: OK, fine, no Remove Curse. Doesn't bother me either way. What else? Haley: We need a Sending spell, to contact a dwarf cleric named Durkon Thundershield. Celia: Ooo! Good idea. Cleric: OK, not a problem, but I need to be familiar with the subject. Does he have any distinguishing features? Haley: Well, he's short. Celia: He has a beard. Haley: He wears heavy armor. Cleric: Ummm, OK... how about any unusual personality traits? Celia: He has an accent. Haley: He likes beer. Haley: He worships Thor. Celia: And hates trees! Cleric: Can you tell me anything about him that differentiates him from every other dwarf? Haley: ... Celia: ... Roy: *sigh* Cleric: Can one of you draw me a picture of him in chalk? Celia: Well I'll try, but I suck at drawing faces. I always make both eyes the same size by accident. Cleric: OK, so to hurry this along, here's my charge for the Sending, plus an estimate for the Resurrection. Haley: Based on this price, it would seem that you have mistakenly identified me as a dragon of some sort. Cleric: Yeah..the desperate sort. Cleric: Look, I'm happy to help out a friend of Pete's, but you've got to make it worth the huge risk I'm taking. Cleric: If the Church of Loki or the Thieves' Guild found out I was here right now, aiding an enemy of Bozzok's , they would— Cut to Old Blind Pete at his front door talking to Bozzok, Crystal, and Hank. Pete: C'mon, Bozzok, we've been haggling all week. I've got Ian's girl, the sylph, and now the traitor priest. Pete: Do we have a deal or not? Bozzok: We have a deal. Go over to the temple of Loki, they'll regenerate your eyes for you. Pete: Hot diggity damn! They're in my basement. See you later! Cleric: —Crap, that was a cutaway panel, wasn't it? I bet that was a cutaway to them talking about how they found me! Haley: It does seem likely, given the set-up dialogue. Someone hand me my bow. Cleric: I don't want to die, I've only been in one strip so far! D&D Context * Sending is a 4th level spell and has a 25 word limit, which Haley adheres to. * Resurrection is a 7th level spell. It is required because Roy's body is no longer whole, and so the 5th level Raise Dead will not work. Trivia * The title is a pun on clerical workers (clerks) and temps (temporary workers). * This is the first appearance of the Cleric of Loki (aka Greysky Priest in the forum list). External Links * 602}} View the comic * 94451}} View the discussion thread Category:Haley Runs Afoul of the Greysky City Thieves Guild